Quiet Strength: The Essence of My Incredible Mom & What Drives Me Today
BY LYENG IA-BOSEMAN
When I think about “quiet strength,” I think about my mom – a sturdy, 82-year-old, often described by those she meets as Zen-like. To look at her now, you couldn’t imagine the level of challenge or hardship this incredible woman has overcome.
At age 40, she had already lived an entire life of tragedy before making her way to the United States, with five terrified children in tow and another safely tucked away in her belly (me). Yet, when she landed on American soil, and finally saw her new home (a double-wide in a run-down trailer park in Fillmore, Utah), she remembers that day with a smile and recalls, “it felt like heaven.”
Before arriving in the States, my mom endured a four-year genocide, extreme poverty, the loss of two young children (one to starvation and the other disease), physical and mental abuse, infidelity, humiliation, and shame beyond measure.
To safely escape the Killing Fields of Cambodia, she had to make her way on foot through overgrown jungles, moving only during the cover of night, to a refugee camp near the border of Thailand. The journey would take her over a month. What propelled her forward during that treacherous journey was a strong sense of hope that life would be better for her children on the other side of the border.
Land of Opportunity
To many immigrants, America represents the land of opportunity, a promise that if you work hard enough, the sky is the limit. While in many ways I believe this to be true, especially given how far my family has come, the recent attacks on people of color proliferating news outlets and social media highlights that there is still much more that needs to be done.
Sitting here now though, I find myself having the same sense of hope that my mom had 42 years ago because, today, I have the privilege of writing a blog post to inspire others with my story of strength, persistence, courage, and opportunity.
When thinking about how I wanted to tell my story, it only felt natural to tell it in the most authentic way I know how—deeply personal. As such, this post is about what drives me in my business and the depths I draw from during challenging times as a leader.
A Family of Entrepreneurs
Each of us has our own unique and powerful story that’s influenced our lives. For me, my story is intertwined with that of my family as they have been my strongest motivator and guiding light. Their story of survival, through immense struggle, is what grounds me and pushes me to move forward. In low times, I often remind myself of what real grit looks like and I think, “If they can do it, so can I.”
We are a family of entrepreneurs. For many in my family, it was a means for survival and for me, it seems to have been written into my DNA. What I’ve always admired about my family is their industriousness — hard work is a cornerstone of our identity as a people and as a family.
Historically, Teochew people have endured much persecution having been ruthlessly pushed out of China into bordering countries in Southeast Asia and beyond. We are a people accustomed to settling down and making our homes in new and unfamiliar lands and we’ve learned to depend on ourselves and the family unit.
Growing up, every decision was made for the family and by the family. As a result, it’s no surprise that we carry this mindset into all aspects of our lives and decision making. Teochew people have built up Chinatowns with thriving businesses in most large cities worldwide from Bangkok to Singapore, Manila to Los Angeles and wherever they have settled in between.
The struggles they (and my family) encountered never deterred them from moving forward and striving to achieve their goals — they focused on what they could do, rather than what they couldn’t. That’s one of the most important lessons I’ve learned from my family and it very much guides my approach to business and life.
The Hardest Working People I Know
I have a huge family. Of the ones living, I have five older siblings (three brothers and two sisters) and a younger brother; we are seven in all. We’re a unique study of generational experiences here in the US within the same family. My parents had no formal education in Cambodia and are not English speaking. When they arrived in the US, they survived on welfare and lived off food stamps while working minimum wage jobs until they could save enough money to start a small clothing manufacturing business in Downtown Los Angeles in the ‘80s.
I remember being picked up from school and being brought to the warehouse where I turned over collars with my little fingers in the factory — everyone in the family participated in the business. It was hard to turn a profit and the hours were grueling. I often slept on a bale of cut fabric as they worked through the night. They did the best they could but got taken advantage of often. It’s what happens when you don’t know the rules of the game or where to even find the rulebook, you just keep trudging through quicksand using nothing but your might. My eldest siblings who came here in their teens with no college education and broken English simply worked — first at the clothing company, then liquor store, then donut shop.
As they got older, they opened their own businesses that ranged from convenience stores to beauty salons and poured their hopes, dreams, and financial resources into us kids who they prayed would escape the fate that had been bestowed upon them. They’ve never known what it means to work a 9-5 or have sick and vacation days at their disposal. They are accustomed to working through pain and discomfort during 14-hour workdays and have been doing so for over 30 years; they are the hardest working people I know.
My next set of older siblings were grade school age when they arrived in the States and learned English as a second language. They were the firsts in the family to obtain college degrees and both work for government agencies (one is a high school counselor and the other is a police officer). I speculate they chose their paths because a part of them likely feels comforted by the stability, ease, and assurance of a steady pension down the road. Lastly, there’s my younger brother and me who were born here in the US, grew up with Lucky Charms and MTV, graduated college with the full young adult experience, and now work in the private sector of corporate America.
My younger brother is a marine insurance executive leading the West Coast region of a top insurance brokerage firm and I like to say that I taught him insurance. I couldn’t be a prouder sister seeing what he’s accomplished in his career.
Doing Business the Way I Wanted
Being a bit more adventurous, I decided to take a different path and after eight years of climbing the corporate ladder, gave it all up to take a chance on myself — no steady income, no predictable 9 to 5, no more routine and certainly no guaranteed future of success. However, what I got in return was an incredible sense of freedom to do business the way I wanted to and the satisfaction that I no longer had to rely on someone else dictating my value or worth.
Like many others that gave up their steady job in pursuit of their aspirations, this was one of the scariest times of my life. I walked into a blank office with no files, no clients, no instructions on how to succeed. Everything in the coming months was going to test my belief in myself and the decision I made, and boy were they hard months. I cried in the parking lot many times. I doubted myself every time someone said no and hung up on me. Every meeting was dependent on me and I had to be perfect which made me my own worst critic.
I tried a lot of different things, constantly altering my strategy, all in an effort to find my authentic voice. I failed a lot and each time I got back up and forced myself to move past the disappointment. I taught myself to celebrate the small wins until they became bigger wins. I took everything step-by-step and reminded myself that if I did one thing every day that moved me forward, the aggregate result of those “one things” would eventually lead to success.
Today, after 10 hard fought years, I am responsible for placing over $20,000,000 of insurance premium in the marketplace and have built a book of business that encompasses large multi-national corporations that entrust me to protect their business and be a critical partner in their growth and success.
I am thoughtful about their unique business needs and craft bespoke insurance programs that are agile, broad, and competitive in the marketplace. I love being able to stand with my clients when they are most vulnerable and advocate relentlessly when they need it most.
Finding Fulfillment in My Work
There are few people in the world who get to feel completely fulfilled in their work and I count myself fortunate to be one of them. I’ve found an industry where I get to help people protect their most valuable assets simply by being excellent at my craft.
When you care deeply about others, it manifests itself in anything you do. For me, that’s being my authentic self with my clients, my colleagues, and my team who have all become a bigger extension of my already big family.
When making difficult decisions in business, I draw on my core principles of the family unit and work to bring everyone into the same collective goal. I’m a big believer of winning together and much of that belief comes from a history of people who have fought to move forward no matter what obstacles have been put in their path. I hope that I can continue to instill that belief in those I come to know throughout the course of my life—just as my mother did for me and my family.
ABOUT LYENG IA-BOSEMAN
Lyeng has more than 18 years of insurance industry experience and joined Bolton in 2014. She specializes in Commercial Property & Casualty insurance for mid to large sized companies with particular emphasis in Workers Compensation, Risk Management, Professional and complex General Liability.
Her role at Bolton is to oversee the client relationship to ensure that her clients’ needs are met and expectations are exceeded. She is an advocate for her clients and strives always to bring the most competitive and comprehensive programs by leveraging her experience and relationships.
She works to ensure that her clients have access to up-to-date information and education through Bolton’s many resources and protects their business through strategic partnerships. Her job is to keep her clients out of trouble.
Prior to Bolton, Lyeng worked at large international brokerage firms handling multi-national accounts. She lives in Los Angeles, California with her husband and two amazing rescue dogs, Shogun and Leroy.
Website: www.boltonco.com; https://www.insuranceforaba.com/bolton42849848