Learning to Let Go of Toxic Positivity and Lead with Authenticity

BY MEG BYRNE

Marketing executives are a special breed. We don’t sweat under pressure, or feel like we can’t, and we certainly don’t let the audience know when a potential mistake is unfolding.  Like the photographer running 45min late for the red carpet entrance shot at a TV premier or a media outlet running the wrong print ad. Framing every stumbling block into a positive is our specialty. We bring light and energy to our working environments, and it is why I love what I do. As the former Marketing Director of a 2.4 million square foot mixed-use real estate property in Downtown Los Angeles, simultaneously executing on digital, social, print, and experiential marketing campaigns was a daily occurrence. Working in this fast-paced, brand image forward environment taught me to be very quick on my feet, but it was also very easy to fall victim to toxic positivity. 

Toxic positivity (TP) is when someone is encouraged to put a “you go girl” varnish over very real concerns. In many workplaces we are asked to put our own needs on the back burner in pursuit of the next event, sales goal, brand initiative or company milestone, but this is a pervasive culture of positivity over reality. When you’re in a place of toxic positivity, it is easier to send someone a “Good Vibes Only” sticker, verses speaking up about a concern or potential issue. I found that the need for the consistent smile, falling trap to TP, is a common problem in entrepreneurship and marketing spaces where a brand's image is paramount to the need for authenticity. Covering a difficult launch or staffing issues with more optimistic language is, in part, a Marketing executives’ job, but sometimes that reframing can make it difficult to see the root of real problems. 

When it came to looking at my own leadership and experience over the last 16 years within the marketing and branding sector, I realized I was guiding my team members through the “don’t let them see you sweat” attitude. This wasn’t allowing me to show up authentically for my career, those I was mentoring or for myself as an individual. When I looked at my life trajectory, I was spending an incredible amount of time, energy, and (yes) positivity on someone else’s dream. I was not getting enough back in return. I started to take a hard look at how many times I needed to post an encouraging message to get myself through a hard time at work or minimize my own concerns. My positive outlook was starting to become a hindrance. 

Talking with friends over wine about this inner dilemma led to daydreaming about what my perfect workplace would look like. Thinking about how I wanted concerns to be taken seriously and how I wanted the women I worked with to have opportunities to grow, I could suddenly see the office perfectly. I could see a space for staff to collaborate, areas for people who like to work solo to have time alone, and my open office door for everyone to come in and talk genuinely, from the heart. Harmony Marketing was born right then. I realized I wanted to spend my inner sparkle on my own business. The moment I decided that, so many things came into focus. I recognized that I could build an environment where my future team is encouraged to be compassionate with themselves, celebrate their wins and learn from their failures. I could bring my full self into my work and lead in a way that felt more genuine to me. 

I’m still a bubbly, positive person, I still love a good Beyonce quote, and I still let my team know when they are doing a great job, but I make sure to temper that with a focus on mindful leadership. I follow some simple rules to help build a more holistic, encouraging work environment to get the best of my team and myself. 

Show Up, Authentically

“Real leadership is being able to address those issues head on, fearlessly, and candidly.”

We all have industry standards that have to be met to make sure we are putting our best foot forward for our clients, but figuring out what areas could be relaxed to allow everyone, myself included, to show up to work as their whole selves was really important to me. When someone feels accepted for who they are, they can start bringing more creative, interesting ideas to the table without fear of judgement. Harmony Marketing’s Digital Lead didn’t believe it when I told her she should have her nose ring in for our website photos, but that piece of jewelry is important to her, and it is part of the personality I hired her for. Letting everyone bring their authentic selves to the party makes for a work environment where we can all feel comfortable. 

Gratitude Then Grind

Showing gratitude is an important part of my work practice. I want my team to know that I value every one of their late nights and every time they catch a mistake. Often, in a culture of toxic positivity, there is so much gratitude thrown around that it doesn’t feel genuine, or it can feel like a precursor to harsh criticism. When you can’t trust your workmates to give honest feedback, it even makes it difficult to believe positive opinions. Showing real, consistent gratitude for the hard work my team puts in has created a feedback loop of encouragement and trust. Knowing that you’re in an environment where sincere appreciation is shown when your work is excellent makes it easier to receive a negative critique as well. Honest feedback and gratitude provide a bedrock of respect for candid communication. 

Really Positive/Positively Real

We have a saying at Harmony Marketing that there is never enough gold for Meg. I am still a person who loves sparkles and sunshine, but straightforwardly acknowledging negativity is the best possible way for a team to grow. Sometimes a situation or work product is not as good as it could be. Real leadership is being able to address those issues head on, fearlessly, and candidly. Creating a space where everyone feels empowered to point out when something isn’t up to the Harmony Marketing standard was extremely important to me. Work product should never suffer for the sake of putting a good face on a project. Allowing for negative critique without defensiveness is the greatest gift I could give myself. 

A New Way Forward

Talking about my ideal work environment with my friends felt like the start of something big, and it was! Using the lessons I’ve learned about authentic leadership, I’ve created Harmony Marketing, a boutique marketing firm in Los Angeles offering creative and elevated solutions for strategy, branding and experiences. I’m able to bring my big, sparkling, real personality to work every day and make space for the rest of my team to do the same. Our firm is devoted to thoughtful and innovative marketing, made possible through gratitude, authenticity, and just a little positive thinking. 

ABOUT MEG BYRNE

Meg Byrne is an innovative and dynamic senior-level Marketing Executive with more than fifteen years’ experience in branding, marketing and communications. She is a top-level marketing strategist, creating integrated multi-level media campaigns encompassing digital, social, influencer promotions, experiential activations, print, radio, and out-of-home. Meg recently started Harmony Marketing, a Los Angeles-based, woman-owned and operated, boutique marketing firm offering creative and elevated solutions for strategy, branding and experiences.

Meg’s experience spans multiple industries including real estate, financial, culinary, fashion, beauty, automotive, travel and leisure. Her specialties include, brand development and communications, integrated marketing strategies, project and design management, experiential brand activations and pop-ups, and public relations.

Meg resides in Los Angeles California where she enjoys the dynamic culinary scene, riding bikes along the beach, hiking, reading mystery novels and painting.