Build a Business You Love

Speaker 1: [Music] give get is a really good philosophy that I can use because so many times now people are like I'm going to give you this I'm going to get this and sometimes that works but it's super transactional and because the nature of my business is so personal I've tried to use that motto hi I'm Melanie bar welcome to the shiled experience with melany join me as I talk to women who have successfully built it a career and business that they love we dive into the topic of how they built it and talk about everything from Having the courage to make career leaps to the details of how to lead effectively create successful teams Implement strategies for growth and Infuse Tech Innovation magic happens when we focus on the part of ourselves and our business that brings us joy so let's dive in thank you for joining us Ashton you are a chef and culinary stylist with an extensive background in media and culinary startups tell us about your business and what LED you to start it I am a chef by trade and fell into food styling because the space that I helped open up in Manhattan was very beautiful and it converged with the time that social media was becoming a really big part of brand so from the kitchen I was able to transfer my skill set and become a food stylist and a recipe developer for Brands but not necessarily work in a traditional kitchen and so many people started cooking during Co and it's so funny cuz I'm flipping through my Instagram and I'll see something that's really good and I'll send it to my husband we should make this I said food is so captivating to people as you're looking through social media because we all eat and it's also a way of bringing people together 100% my mother was a chef and a caterer and we always had a household that had a revolving door of food and people and entertaining and the lesson that really stuck with me and it's still my Mantra food is an act of love and an opportunity for beauty is one of the most universal connectors that we have it's the most intrinsic form of self-care if we use it for what those purposes are it has such an ability to change the way that we feel to change the way that people around us feel it's why everybody always says that their favorite meal is their grandmother's meatballs or their mom's chicken because it really has so little to do with what the food is and obviously ingredients play a huge role in how something tastes or seasoning but at the end of the day I really do believe that it has so much less to do with what the food is and much more to do with what the energy is behind it and I also love how you took something you're passionate about and turned it into a business it's not that easy for everyone to do when I speak with women who are doing something they're passionate about and something that they love how did you turn what you love into a business I was naturally inquisitive and creative both things led to do a little bit of rule breaking I was good at problem solving and seeing the bigger picture in the midst of two different kitchen careers that I was going through I would see a problem and I would say wait a minute why isn't it being fixed this way and I would feel like I had to sit on my hands and that was really challenging for me as a sense of efficiency why isn't this being done in the most efficient creative profitable way so I started really small I started seeing little problems in the vertical that I was competent in cooking and making things look beautiful but I would take pieces of what's the problem what's the solution how do you want people to feel when they eat your food and experience your styling I just want people to feel seen and good most of the times people don't remember what they eat if they're eating something and really enjoying their company and who they're with whether that's one person or themselves it's very rare that they walk away and say maybe they will the next day and say to make that chicken that was really good or maybe the next week but even if they do that they usually will then recreate the recipe and make it their own so then it's no longer what you had at that dinner party or where you pulled it from it might take several times making that but honestly I find that most people don't remember what they ate they just remember the way they feel and so feeling really good and present being present when you're eating and with food is really something that's Irreplaceable your styling is so beautiful and I know how excited I get when you're at a restaurant and something is set in front of you and it's so beautifully presented you get a little bit more excited yes eating with your eyes is Paramount we all know that we're a visual creature that time and care even when you're cooking for yourself when you put in to make something look really beautiful it has a reciprocal nature it comes back to make you feel better as well you have received recognition in the New York Times Martha Stewart wedding and Food and Wine magazine how does this feel for you and what does it mean for your business it's very flattering and very nice it's like the icing on the cake it's nice to be recognized I also think it's really cool because so much of what I do that's not seen is the behind the scenes copy or imagery for these Publications we've spoken about mutual friends that we have in media and I think that working behind the scenes for so long has given me a great appreciation for all areas of it so when you're recognized for it it's a full circle because usually you know all the players behind it as well so it's just a nice kind of touch and that's a great way of thinking about it celebrating yourself for all the work and effort that goes into all that you do yes it's very nice and it's a media is a crazy thing it's changing now so sometimes it can be even just a recognition on social media or connecting with somebody you are also the author of two cookbooks tell us about them and did you enjoy writing them and the publishing process I love cookbooks I speak for many when I say they are what I look through when I'm having lunch I use them for inspiration I ironically rarely cook out of them but I A lot of times use the imagery and the ideas and the words I love a headnote to a recipe too which also tells you a lot about the author their inspiration those are the things I find most inspiring about cookbooks and writing my own with I I've written two I've self-published two cookbooks and I found the process really fun it's a great way to pull together a collaboration of recipes that you've been working on it's a great way to theme something it's a labor of love anybody who writes a book will probably tell you that you're putting this creature into the world that's both vulnerability and also creativity and hoping that people receive it you have been featured with your cookbooks on NBC's Today Show ABC's Good Morning America and CNN you are very at PR it is how we met if someone wants to grow their business through PR and features like this what advice do you have to really know your audience and to recognize that there's a long game here and creating the connection an authentic connection is not always necessarily instantaneous I worked with this editor at Oprah Magazine a long time ago I used to do recipe develop for them and she went on to create her own company and she had a at a moment in time she had this little PR business and she would do she did a course that I took and this thing that I always remember called give get is a really good philosophy that I use because so many times now people are like I'm gonna give you this I'm gonna get this and sometimes that works but it's super transactional and because the nature of my business is so personal I tried to use that modotto it might not even be like giving them something tangible from my work it might be somebody who reaches out to me and they're looking for a connection to somebody else I know that it's intentioned I know that they're an expert in their field I'm not just handing out my Rolodex but the give can be done in many different ways and then I think building trust with that person creates this natural ripple effect of press and opportunity and if you approach it like the road is long I'm always going to be doing this in some form or fashion how do I align with people that are on the same Journey as me and have the same morals and values as me and the same expertise in their field and then when that happens it doesn't really matter what they do I work with people in fashion and design and the event space and the art world and media if you use the tactic of genuine connection giving as much as you receive and being the long game then you will naturally be able to have consistent and good PR even without having somebody that you have on a retainer it's so true and one of your friends said you are an incredible connector and you are because you've connected me to a couple people but you're right when you do that it comes back to you and people remember and they'll remember that yeah absolutely and also at the end of the day I am so lucky to have so many wonderful mentors in the space and Moren petrovsky who's another wonderful writer and cookbook person who you should meet as well she said to me something really important and that stuck with me as well she's the pie just gets bigger the slices don't get smaller because there's more people in this field if you approach things with that mentality everybody wins and everybody has more opportunities we all know people who are like that's mine I don't subscribe to that philosophy in life or in business what do you think is the most important element of leadership when scaling a business it's actually something I struggle with candidly it's what something that is not my forte I'm sitting with this book in front of me about wolves and women which is so bizarre but I am a little bit of a lone wolf when it comes to how I create and I get very cerebral about certain things and because I have to turn it on sometimes for TV or whatever that looks like I tend to conserve a lot of energy it's something I've really had to learn the thing that I've found success with is hiring people who are self-driven and motivated and that people who also again very simply I know we've spoken about this offline is that people who have the same like work ethic morals and values approach the world the same way treat people the same way I think that that is so wonderful when you're building and scaling and I also think having people in person we live in a super digital era and there's something wrong with that but being in constant Connection in a physical sense is really important as well hiring people who are those qualities and then also being able to see them and then also knowing what you're not good at and Outsourcing that as well that's a huge part of it and focusing on what you do really well because at the end of the day only you can do that somebody else can do your taxes yes and we are still humans that human connection it still makes us feel good and I'm so inspired by the women thank you for being so honest I'm so inspired by women I talk to who are honest about looking at themselves and how do I need to and what are the areas that I need to improve and also your great advice for yes hiring out for people being real with ourselves and saying okay I'm not no one's good at everything I'm not the best at this so I'm going to hire someone who's incredible at it and who loves to do it exactly what is next for your company and what would you like to see for the future I thought long and hard about potentially opening up a cafe or a restaurant dipping back into that world again I'd like to publish another book perhaps several I'm based in New York I would on a personal level love to have some place outside of New York where I can pop to and have a little bit more nature from time to time that's something that really inspires me and helps me reset I'm always somebody that really strives to continue to work with more and more people because I find that you learn from more people and I could see your restaurant marrying your love of food and styling your cookbook and also your love of human connection exactly I was speaking with my fiance the other day about New York can be a little hard I don't think that's a secret and I love it dearly but it's definitely can be very hard I think compared to the rest of the country which is exciting for a lot of people absolutely there's a bounty of opportunity here something that I've really noticed is that I was lacking some place to walk into and feel as good as I want people to feel when they eat my food so if I can add just like a little bit of that whether it's New York or someplace else I think that would be a win magic happens when we focus on the part of ourselves and our business that brings us joy what is one way that you make sure to find and live your joy there's a book called the upper limit Problem by gay Hendrick which is really

Speaker 1: my zone of genius and where I'm really in flow and what I try to do every day to be in that state of flow is obviously cooking it's it really does I keep coming back to the food I forget everything else I don't look at my phone I don't think about anything else I find myself to be a very impatient person by Nature just naturally that's not my skill set but when I cook everything slows down so if I just continue to infuse that even if it's just a little bit because so much of what I do now in a day-to-day might not be fully in the kitchen if I make myself a meal or make people that I love a meal I remember why I got here and how it all came to be so I know it's really simple that little piece of joy is just finding time to feed myself and people that I love thank you for sharing your food your styling your passion and your business with wisom with us tell us how and where we can find you thank you for having me you can find me ash.com or at Ashton keep on Instagram thank you for joining us today I'd love to hear from you reach out to me at hello she.com on our Sheil it website or at Sheil it on social thank you to my editor Rich draino who always makes us sound good until next time let nothing stop you from experiencing the life and business that you crave [Music]