Future-Proof Your Life

Speaker 1: [Music] they know that they need help in getting to where they want to go not because it makes them weak but it makes them stronger after a difficult and life-changing event almost 20 years ago the thought of other families having to suffer even remotely similar to how her family suffered affected Sabrina Winters she decided to leave New York her home of 20 years and open her estate planning law firm in North Carolina she's been named by Business Leaders as one of the top 50 entrepreneurs and her blog was voted by Lexus Nexus top 25 blogs on estate planning her biggest honor was being sworn into practice before the United States Supreme Court thank you for joining us Sabrina you are an estate planning attorney who went through a difficult life-changing event 20 years ago how did that event help shape your life to where you are today and how did it guide you to building your practice

Speaker 2: thank you for having me today I've been practicing law since 1999 is when I was sworn in and even before that I was in some shape or form working in a law office and really only wanted to be doing something criminal related ever since I was in Middle School that's all I wanted to do I had saved elective credits for law school took it at one of the best opportunities ever for an internship in Major Crimes back home in Long Island and within week one I hated it and I'm standing in the middle of the court room after a week and I thought what am I going to do now this is not what I wanted right around the same time my uncle started getting sick and fast forward he refused to put any documents in writing nothing all of his problems were going to be our problems he was just a happy guy and didn't look at all the possible issues that would happen so he got to the point where he was too sick to do anything we have family Dynamics like every other family and my father felt that he needed to make the end of my uncle's life as peaceful and Serene as possible and he wanted to tell the Physicians to stop resuscitating him but the other side of the family disagreed so when that happens all they can do is try to save his life if that's an opportunity they have so I watched my father watch his brother be resuscitated several times before he finally passed away and I say finally because it was gut-wrenching and it was at that moment that I thought there cannot be any other families if I can help it that are going to go through what we've gone through these last few days nobody really helped us nobody sat with us and talked about the options and remembered that we had a family member passing away not a lot of people showed us Grace and we didn't know what we were doing we were just doing what we thought was the right thing and I thought there's just no way this is something that needs to be addressed and it was pretty much in the event of his passing that I decided this is what I was meant to do I was going to have a firm where my clients were not going to be treated like my family was treated that this is important enough to make sure that families don't go through what we did and that's how I started my

Speaker 1: practice it's great that you gave yourself permission to Pivot from the type of law that you set out to practice and what a great practice you have built because every family is going to go through a version of this correct as

Speaker 2: lawyers we're expected to have Solutions we're expect to come up with answers and solutions for your problems and I couldn't do any of that and I knew that I needed to start learning how to make that happen for families and I knew deep down for so long that I wanted to do something in the criminal area I wanted to do estate planning as badly in that moment so I knew I had to do it it was a pivot that was happening

Speaker 1: for me walk us through a little bit how

Speaker 2: you help families I have always felt that we're not transactional we're not going to go to court and represent you on a traffic ticket that's transactional that's you need it today you're going to pay for it and you're going to move on we don't do real estate closings because that's transactional as well estate planning attorneys really have to have a place of compassion a warm environment for their clients to be present in because they're going to share a lot of scary things with us what I set out to do was we're g to have a firm what's going to shock clients in a good way we're not going to be the firm that you're going to walk into and feel like oh this is a lawyer's firm we're here to do business and we're done very transactional exactly and we are relationship based it really starts with what they hear when they call the office customer service is big and because I know how hard it is for them to even have picked up the phone my staff answers the phone very differently than if they called another Law Firm I'm very purposeful and intentional with what I've created in my practice every phone call is answered hello it's a great day at the law office of Sabrina Winters how can I make you smile today this is Amanda it's coming across as a smile and they let their guard down and they've shared that with me I wasn't really having a good day but thank you for saying that and that opens up their eyes to kind of what their relationship will be with my firm what we're going to help them with and they get that we get them I start with that but it goes deeper than that many have never even addressed estate planning with any other lawyer so this is their first time speaking to somebody like me and so they're really confused on what do I ask what am I supposed to prepare what is she GNA want from me so we hold their hands the whole way and we take them step by step and by the time we're finished they not only know that they have a really comprehensive plan meets their needs but it's also going to be a plan that they understand if they don't understand it they can't communicate it to their family and that's so great because while there is a business side

Speaker 1: it's very emotional and I'm sure it's hard for your clients to separate that emotion from the business part of it as

Speaker 2: you're speaking to them yeah I'm here to

Speaker 1: help them with their estate plan and do the best job I can I'm human and I come from a place of honesty and authenticity

Speaker 2: all the time that makes you great at what you do all the intention you have put into building your practice around the way you want it to be for your clients and I'm sure they appreciate it

Speaker 1: as well thank you for saying that because it really is I always bring myself back to what we were feeling in the moment and what we were wanting and we never got and I'm sure that translates into your leadership style as well what do you think is the most

Speaker 2: important aspect of leadership and building and creating teams you need to know what the strengths are in each one of your team members let them excel at what they're good at and what they enjoy doing and I have to remember that I can't do it all and even if I could I can't do it all really well and I have to let that go I have to be able to delegate trust that I have staff that shares my vision of growth and what this practice stands for I try to do that every day I try to encourage them I don't care how tiny of an event if it was something exciting we're celebrating it I tell everybody I don't just take that staff member aside and congratulate them and give them Kudos I tell it in front of everybody because everybody should celebrate even just one tiny little Accolade of a team member and I also to lead by example I try to be the one that they want to emulate because if I can't show them what I want they're never going to be able to do it and it's my fault then I put myself on the side sometimes and say Sabrina remember this is your practice they're not doing it because they don't see you doing it enough and then I get back on track and it's all good and evaluating is a great

Speaker 1: quality of a leader and I like that you bring up strengths and weaknesses because from the women that I've interviewed who run law firms so many of them have said I went to school to learn to be a great lawyer but I didn't take the business side of classes so the fact that you evaluate and bring in people that are good at doing those aspects of the business just makes a good leader then your team all gets along it just takes that one team member that brings down the whole lot of them and it's happened here and they've not lasted I need to see that smiling when you come to the office we all have issues outside of work we have to remember that we're at work and our first priority are our clients we have weekly meetings we talk about all the good things that happen we talk about all the things to make better we also make sure that we end our meetings with a positive note what are you g to do this week that's going to make you or somebody else smile sometimes that's the question is as simple as that and it could be really small but you have to come back next week and say that you did it and how you made how it made you feel because we're doing that for clients but we need to do that for ourselves as well and that helps you

Speaker 2: get to know them yeah and build the

Speaker 1: relationship I agree when they come on board they also have to fill out a form for me all personal stuff where's your favorite restaurant what you like to do on your time off you know what's your favorite candy what are you allergic to all of of the life things that you don't always see in your staff members every day I want to know what that is because when birthdays come around or even thanks for the great work I don't want to always give them a lunch that might not be what they want it might be I'd love to get my hair colored a second time okay great I I know that that's what you like to do and I know that they'll like it because they told me

Speaker 2: already I love that that is such good advice and I it's funny cuz I just had this conversation with the family M I said this holiday I'd like to have something that I really want I don't just want a gift in this time that we're in everyone feels that way and the fact that you looked at that as a leader within your company for your employees that says a lot I also had to learn how to be a leader I had to learn what that looked like I went and I learned it I learned from somebody I trusted somebody who knew me this has not always been me I've at this for 20 years I've evolved not only as a person as a woman but I've evolved as an attorney and as that's happened so is my practice it's always gotten better it's never gotten worse because I've worked on myself and I even tell staff you have an hour lunch take it I don't want you at your desk I don't want you working while you're having lunch I don't want you running an errand for the office that hour is for you to step away from the files to computer the phone the notes go do something I don't care if it's sitting in the lunchroom and you close your eyes on the couch but you need that mental break I need that mental break so why wouldn't I expect my staff to and if I don't see them taking their breaks I go in and say you know it's three o'clock already you've got to take your break you've you've got to and I force them to go do it and I've I've want staff who loves to read like she's always reading constantly and that's the pleasure she gets that's her break

Speaker 1: really remind them that we're all human and that phone call will be returned after you come back from lunch it is okay and what you mentioned before that's great advice for anyone listening in leadership questioning how you can improve is always so important because we all can always improve in certain areas I 100% agree but as lawyers some of us are very Headstrong we're very set in our ways I I'm married to one I've got one living in my house I I understand I purposely chose not to and I'm glad that I did because I could not live with somebody like me I will write down things to do that I've already done so I can cross them off and feel like I accomplished something it's a good thing Opposites attract a lot of times that's right oh that's magic happens when we focus on the part of ourselves and our business that brings us joy what is one way that you make sure to find and live your joy each day I know we've talked a lot about how you make sure your employees live their Joy

Speaker 2: yeah that's something that took me a long time to learn it's always going always feeling like I couldn't stop a few years ago I really sat down and I started figuring out if I didn't have this practice what would I do and I came up with nothing nothing there wasn't anything that I could say this is who Sabrina is and that really bothered me I went through months of really focusing on why was I feeling that way where and how did I lose who I was because if I didn't know how I did that I wouldn't know how to not do it again and how to fix it it really just came down to I had too much on my plate everything it was my my father was sick for a long time and I was always running to help my mother with him it was not wanting to miss something at my daughter's school or her life event and I would work after that and it was always putting somebody else first and I never put myself first so I decided that I wasn't going to do that anymore I vocalized it all I said here's where I am I don't know where I'm going with this but here is where I am I'm going to figure it out but you need to know where I am right now because I am changing who I am to be more who I am we have a dog we've always had a dog and I love animals they're like people to me that I love so I purposely started walking our dog a lot more and we go for walks twice a day I'll listen to music or maybe I'll just walk in silence I also got to the point where I don't really care what people think and as long as I'm happy and that's a great place to be it's getting me out it's getting me out of the house out of the office and outside which I wasn't spending a lot of time doing I'm also not working at home anymore I don't do it I don't bring home my work anymore everything stays in the office because I found that I was working at the office I'd go home I'd have dinner I'd walk the dog and then I'd go back in the office and I would work in my home office and I was like I can't that's not gonna happen anymore I had no separation so I don't work from home anymore I am spending more time with my daughter that's what's what I was missing so much of we switched roles on purpose my husband had the job that was working from home and he had the time to pick her up from school he would take her to soccer practice they were together doing all these life things without me and I didn't want that anymore and that's why I don't work at home anymore and even if it's just sitting next to my daughter having mindless conversation that's where I'm happy

Speaker 1: that's what I was missing I love that you took the time to listen to what it is that you need and this conversation I know resonates with a lot of listeners cuz when you love what you do and you have a family there's a lot of pull there and when you really like what you do it's hard to find that separation so good for you today too we're constantly distracted we have our phones we don't take that downtime that we probably should and I just had someone today say to me well you didn't respond to my text message and I thought I had put my phone away because I'm trying to be more intentional about maybe leaving my phone I understand certain people can't do that if you're a doctor or you're on call but I'll leave my phone in my home office for an hour and just not look at it to have that separation so good for you for asking the questions too and looking inside yourself for what you want to be doing that you're not doing and how you can honor yourself and I think a lot of women feel like they have to be the doers the fixers and that's kind of what people expect lawyers to do too so it's a double whammy for women who are attorneys that they've put it on themselves and then their career puts that on their plates then you're like only working and helping other people and you forget about you and it's bad it's bad when it gets to that point because then it's hard to really get back on track unless you stop everything and try to refocus and I didn't do it loone I shared it with my husband I told my best friend I got myself a a sales coach a business coach like we talked a lot about this and I think a lot of women feel they can't ask for help they can't go get help why would I everybody asks me for help why would I go get help but we should remember that it's okay we don't have to help everybody 247 because if you don't help yourself you can't help it's kind of like when you're on a plane and they say put your own mask on first and then put the mask on person next to you why don't we do that in life we'll save ourselves in an airplane crash but we won't save ourselves from everyday Stress and

Speaker 2: Anxiety and that's a great point I have young kids they say that to me a lot lately when I'm on the planes and even

Speaker 1: the most successful athletes have coaches yeah they do and that's why they're successful but they also know that they need help in getting to where they want to go not because it makes them weak but it makes them stronger and it's okay and no one should have to do it alone no I agree nobody it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman ask for the help get what you need but know what you want and do what makes you feel comfortable because what I did may not be what somebody else needs to get out of that slump figure it out it's okay whatever it is that's you you have to do you before you can really do anything else for anybody else and that again took me 50 years to figure out and get it done so I get it thank you for

Speaker 2: joining us today Sabrina I love how you have built such an intentional practice and that you gave yourself permission to Pivot into what you were really born to do instead of staying on the path you started out in I wanted to thank you this was a great platform to be able to hear other women their struggles and things because I think we need to hear it we're not alone what we're going through is not special everybody has something going on and it's okay because we're all human still and it's just as

Speaker 1: important in addition to sharing the business and the leadership advice to share the humility and the vulnerability as well because we're all going through it every

Speaker 2: day absolutely I agree please share with

Speaker 1: us how and where we can find you my website is sabrino winter law.com we have a YouTube channel we're on LinkedIn we're on uh Instagram and Tik Tok as

Speaker 2: well thank you for joining us today I'd love to hear from you reach out to me at hello sheet.com on our shetit website or at@ Sheed on social thank you to my editor Rich draino who always makes us sound good until next time let nothing stop you from experiencing the life and business that you crave [Music]