Mastering Motivation: Success & Challenges

Speaker 1: [Music] it's reprogramming your mind you have to create the life that you want and you can and you do that by speaking things as though you already have it and loving yourself hi I'm Melanie bar welcome back to the shilp podcast your go-to place to empower you to live the life and business that you crave I'm here to talk about everything from Having the courage to make life and career leaps to the details of how to lead a L create successful teams Implement strategies for growth and Infuse Tech Innovation I'm here to celebrate your wins and navigate through your challenges I live in the city now but I grew up in a town of a thousand people I've navigated major life leaps a senior level corporate career worked in professional sports and now as a successful entrepreneur who loves business technology family and making meaningful connections with you and the Sheil it Community I also love a good workout and do of selfcare magic happens when we focus on the part of ourselves and our business that brings us joy so turn up the audio open your favorite Notes app grab your favorite drink and here we go welcome back to the Sheila podcast thank you for joining us Demetria you are an author and business coach who has successfully overcome struggles share with us your journey from being homeless to becoming a successful author and business coach and what were some of the key turning points for you this spiritual journey has been a major growth inside out I lost my mother in October from cancer soon as I'm thinking everything is going amazing in my life and it was oh wow I'm really losing my mother the person that I talk to absolutely every single day the person who I can call on the person who was there for me I could talk to about absolutely anything I having to learn how to be without her so every day is really a push for me and I'm doing it share with us how you became an author since I was nine I always absolutely love to write I started writing my life story when I was about 19 years old I started journaling I had no intention of making it a book or anything like that all I know is that I wanted to hear myself it was always told to me what goes on in this house stays in this house so it was really hard to talk about the things that you endured and how you felt because as a teenager you're listening like okay I can't talk about how I feel and so the writing Journey began when I was going into a Goodwill store and I was in the most down depression state of my entire life and I said God I'm going to live or I'm going to die there's no way that I can keep going on like this and I just started journaling and I ended up meeting this person and she said she knew someone who published books the first two rounds were not successful of finding a publisher and then the third round was definitely enough success I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother is your writing helping you through that as well oh yeah writing is therapeutic and writing has always been like I said I started writing when I was not whether I could spell the words really know what I was saying all I knew is I wanted a pen and some paper and I took it to school with me I was busy writing stories and as I look back on that I'm like yeah writing was definitely my calling tell us about your books I refused to lose that's my first autobiography that I wrote about my life I wrote that story to help other people to overcome things that they've been through whether it was not having your mother not having your father whether you've been through things in your family dysfunctional family you're entrepreneur and you want to quit you want to give up but I wrote that story to help other people overcome to know that you're a risk taker and life is all about taking risk and it's up to you whatever it is that you want you create your reality and it took me very long like oh what I want matters and for so long I didn't know what I wanted matters it was like yeah what you want mattered and I began to write down what I wanted finally it went on from there that's so inspiring because we get caught up in life and we don't always stop and do that and we think yeah I know what I want but do we it's such an important exercise to sit down and really think it through most definitely it's great that you're helping people to do that yes it took me a very long time to say hey I matter my feelings matter what I want matter I matter it's okay to put yourself first it's okay to think about yourself first and have you written other books since your first book yes I wrote a book from broken woman to businesswoman I talked about the broken side as an entrepreneur I don't think that we talk about that side too much we hear all the millionaires the cars the homes in the houses a lot of people don't tell you what they went through the Lonely Nights feeling alone the Brokenness losing family members in the midst of being an entrepreneur because you're not clocking in and out like this is you this is your work this is your baby this is your job this is what you are taking a risk on how do you jump those hurdles when things happen in your life how do you keep going and some people when those things happen they fall oh this is it I can't do it no more and so it teaches you the back broken in as an entrepreneur and I have a new book called naked that's coming out this book was definitely Bitter Sweet it took me a minute to write it this A Memoir of my life necked is me undressing a lot of things in my life and the heel part and my spiritual journey of me following my own path and how that changed my life and my mom passing and me having 11y old son and his father was murdered last year how did you keep going Demetria what do you do getting back up I am so sorry and thank you for sharing all of your stories because it's such an inspiration to keep going and to keep fighting for what we want yes almost definitely what advice would you give entrepreneurs who are starting with or that have limited res resources I was definitely one of the people limited resources was me especially when I started writing my book I didn't have all the money to publish and even as I Mentor people about writing and being an entrepreneurship when they say oh I'm not getting any support what do I do my family's not supporting me what do I do and that's the thing you have to create and I know that it may sound cliche you have to create and every day I got up and sometime I would spend five hours Googling new opportunities for myself booking shows and investing in myself a lot of people don't want to invest in themselves sometime you have to pay for things of getting yourself off that ground I'm very big on affirmations I write down what I want as though I already have it I want to be a New York time bestseller hey I already am that whatever it is that you want to be you call that thing in as though you already have it and I know sometimes that could be hard because our mindset could be negative we could been through some things in the past or people have said negative things to us and those things could be sticking in our heads and so it's reprogramming your mind you have to create the life that you want and you can and you do that by speaking things as though you already have it and loving yourself it took me a minute to wake up in the mirror every single day even when I don't like this or I don't like that about myself and I say Demetria I love you and this is the first time in my life that I'm experiencing like I love you such an inspiration and you're so right when we put our minds to something and we believe it deep down our minds will find a way to get us there and if not they very close usually Oh yes most definitely and you have to take risks and you have to get up I was scared to come to Los Angeles and host my event in September like Los Angeles big from my little small town and I'm like who am I to be going here hosting an event and I got on that plane and it was almost six hours I was like I cannot believe I'm coming to Hollywood and we worked hard and it came out amazing yeah it's about taking risk and I talk to a lot of entrepreneurs that say know every aspect of your business and don't be afraid to do any part of it maybe you don't do it all the time but don't be afraid to open boxes and don't be afraid to understand all the tech platforms it doesn't mean you have to do them but it's important to be able to get your hands dirty within your business to make it go to the next level oh yeah how do you approach goal setting and planning in your personal life and your business I watched an interview with Stephen King he talked about how he write and how much he write in a day and I was like man he pushed and he was dedicated to all of his movies and his books and this is the dedication that I desire you know I do two hours and I'm like he's pushing forward it's motivated me I listen to a lot of YouTube motivations I read a lot of motivation for my business and then my personal life once I'm done with the business I'm done my son is home I work all day I'm a full-time mom at home and while he's at school I am working this book is my priority and when he sleep let's get back to the writing I love that and it is a Juggle I'm a mom of twins too so I understand at four o'clock I become the sports shuttle and I told someone thank God for hotpots cuz I can sit in my car and still work on my computer so that juggle is real and I need that motivation too in the morning as I'm making breakfast and snacks and all the things at 6:00 a.m. I always have something inspirational on because it puts me in the right mindset and yes I skip days CU I'm not perfect but then I think oh I need to get back on that track and then meditations even 5 minutes and I keep mentioning this but five minutes is amazing just sets my mind up for the day that along with something motivational to get the day started oh yes most definitely magic happens when we focus on the part of ourselves and our business that brings us joy what is one thing that you do each day to make sure that you are finding and living your joy each day for me is again loving me putting me first and knowing that I matter knowing what I want matter and when I think about my son and I'm giving you the life that you deserve I'm giving you what I did have you might go through some things but as a mother I'm here on this Earth and I'm going to make sure that I'm there for you taking care of you and teaching you I let him have his voice again we was forced to go to church like we was forced to do this and forced to do that with him I'm like I want to hear what you feel and what you think he's 11 about to be 12 in April so letting him talk and Pitch his voice what do you feel and what do you think so every day loving me is a major task for me I know it could sound simple to a lot of people but in the past I was a people pleaser I didn't love myself and so that's why it's so big to me I didn't like anything about me and I believed all the negative things that people said to me so me loving me and getting up every day and doing exactly what I love that's really big for me your son is very lucky to have you as a mom thank you for sharing your story with all of us you are such an inspiration and reminding us to love ourselves please tell our listeners how and where we can find you and how we can find your books all of my books are on Amazon BN in NOA books a million and I am on Instagram at Demetria for real I am on Facebook at Demetri buy thank you for joining us today I'd love to hear from you reach out to me at hello Sheil it.com on our Sheed website or at Sheed on social thank you to my editor Rich draino who always makes us sound good until next time let nothing stop you from experiencing the life and business that you crave