Thrive Beyond Survival

Speaker 1: hi welcome to the sheo fit experience with Melanie you're here because you want to scale and grow your business Master business strategy and learn about new tech Innovation join me and my inspiring guests as we dive into the topic of how how to create build scale and operate the business of your dreams in addition to being an entrepreneur I'm also a twin mom and Optimist who loves empowering you to experience the life that you crave Magic happens when we focus on the part of ourselves and our business that brings us joy so grab a coffee or cocktail get comfy and let's dive in for as long as she can remember Dr Carpenter wanted to be a doctor her path of becoming a physician was filled with the understanding that medicine would become her life she found that with a family and as a doctor she was often fraught with the challenges of trying to prove herself worthy of being able to prioritize both work and family when her twins were born as a mother of four and as a full-time practicing physician she decided things in her life needed to change she made the decision to get a new job even though it required an interstate move in order to not have to drive hours to and from work every day she also started doing things for herself that she always put off because she just didn't have time today with all of her experience and knowledge in addition to being a full-time physician she is a coach and founder of the twin mom Chronicles a community and coaching business that help helps other working moms of children and multiples to not feel so alone to find the resources that they need and to be sure to find the time in their day to fill their cup so happy to have you with us today Dr Carpenter I'm so happy to be here can you please tell us who you are and about the leaps that you have made prior to

Speaker 2: becoming a doctor I am a physician I'm a mom of four and I have our surprise twins cuz they just kind of popped up on us we thought were're done with the two most of me is just trying to get back to who I am outside of all of the the many

Speaker 1: hats that I wear we met through Instagram and social media and I think it's so fun that we could now meet women that we connect with on various levels through social media when I saw your Instagram account I thought I can so relate because as a working mom of twins we don't always take care of ourselves in the way that we should and as a full-time practicing physician I'm sure can be extremely difficult for you to make sure that you just find the time to

Speaker 2: like you said fill your cup yes it's very challenging I give that advice to my patients all the time to their caregivers make sure you take time for yourself and don't stress yourself but you're right it can be hard and I think even just moms in general understand that there's this innate guilt that comes on you as a mom no matter how many kids you have that anytime you start doing something for yourself you feel bad about it because it should be all about the kids I'll be honest it took me

Speaker 1: a really long time to actually practice what I preached now I take that and say it's not when I have the time it is I am making time to make myself a priority and that doesn't always mean I get an hour or God forbid a whole day wouldn't that be nice even 15 minutes sometimes can be life changing and my twins are seven and even just connecting with you I mentioned when we first spoke I didn't get into the Twin mom groups because I was so exhausted and the thought of getting the kids in the car and then getting to the group and then having the twins go two different directions or having one be happy and the other not be happy I just kind of said I'm just not going to do it but it's been so fun to connect with other twin moms who understand and even in the last couple days I've been taking more time for myself even 10 or 15 minutes here and there just because we have been talking you're right it is so

Speaker 2: important what gave you the courage to decide to go into medicine and to create the community that you're creating for

Speaker 1: working moms so going into medicine it almost just seems so natural my mom is a physical therapist assistant she was a single mom so I was used to being around the hospital I met all of her colleagues it seemed like such a natural fit that I would do something in medicine and somehow I decided my mom told me not to be just like her like okay I'll be a doctor then and ever since I was really passionate about medicine and loved helping people and learning about the body and all of that I'm driven and stubborn for good or bad once I decided that was what I was going to do I was going to do it no matter who said I couldn't no matter what it took I was going to get there funny enough I just believe there are no coincidences I went through a lot in trying to get into medicine and then I got married six months before I actually went to medical school so that required a move there's this new marriage we're still in the honeymoon phase and now I'm about to do probably the hardest thing in my life and try to make this marriage work two years later I was pregnant with my daughter medicine and family collided at that point it seemed as though I was going to have to choose do I want to be a doctor or do I want to be a mom and I actually had an encounter online with a male physician who told me well you know what you can be a physician or you could be a good mom but you can never be a good physician if you're prioritizing your family and not everyone but in general that's kind of been the mentality of medicine that medicine comes first and everything else is second including your family including yourself this was a career that I worked hard for but at the same time I wanted to be able to be the mom that I always saw myself being so like you said the twin mom groups especially when they're little it's hard so I I took to social media and I found a bunch of twin mom groups on Facebook like oh this is perfect there's people that'll understand and while there were a lot of things that they did understand I found that a lot of the twin moms they stayed home cuz it was it's hard I hate to say easier cuz that is definitely not easy but in terms of not having to juggle the two they picked the one that was most important to them at that time and that was to stay at home or you know financially whatever the case was while I had some support I still felt like I was by myself because I didn't find very many twin moms that were still working so there's a whole another set of challenges that I was still trying to navigate through yes so that saying is if it's not out there and you see a need for it then it's meant for you to create it and so that's pretty much what I did

Speaker 2: if I'm out there feeling this way there's got to be even if it's 10 other moms there's got to be some other people feeling the same right and I'm so happy that you chose both medicine and family so good for you and I know everything that you've gone through to be where you are today and when I heard that you were creating this community I thought I would have loved to have that right because that would have resonated with me back then because I was going through the same thoughts I was busy working and Consulting and juggling the Twins and you're right it does present different types of challenges how has your career path raising the Twins and your children during this time in particular been for

Speaker 1: you I don't have any family where we are right now on top of working in a hospital and Co it definitely takes a toll mentally emotionally physically one of the biggest things is always like oh my God am I going to bring covid home to my family right I've had colleagues that have said that they think that they gave Co to their families fortunately the ones that I know of everybody is doing well but that adds just another layer of kind of stress where really you definitely need to be focusing on some self care and being able to unwind and de-stress and reduce some of that anxiety you are busy caring for a family and I always joke that I always thought I had pretty good multitasking skills but when the Twins were born I joke that they took my multitasking skills to an entirely new level because you learn really quick that you've got to be overly organized and prepared for anything that might happen that is a

Speaker 2: surprise what management tips can you give us for staying organized

Speaker 1: for me how I manage it all is knowing that some days I'm not going to be able to do it all I typically put everything in my phone and then I have a hard copy planner that I use as well and I'm actually revamping my planning style I have a coach too what I have learned is that I am a I'll say recovering perfectionist I think a lot of women listening to this podcast are but what I have learned is that in that perfectionism it's actually procrastinating where I think that I'm really doing a good job of planning and multitasking and getting everything just so I'm doing stuff but I'm not going anywhere that's really interesting so I'm working on a new planning task that

Speaker 2: has some priority to when I have deadlines is it important is it helping to move me forward or is it something that well it would be nice to clean out the garage but really at the end of the day is that life changing our garage looked terrible until the Twins were four now it's really clean they're seven okay so mine

Speaker 1: are I hear you there three so I I had like what a year or two where it's gonna work out yes I remember looking at the stroller thinking well we haven't used the stroller in about a year I think I can get rid of that we are all shipped Ing and pivoting at such a rapid speed today and I love how we can learn from others about how they've overcome obstacles can you share a challenge that you came up against recently and how you

Speaker 2: were able to overcome it oh yes so it is a business SL professional challenge because at work one of the Physicians suddenly took ill that meant I was now the interim medical director and so everything that I was doing in my physician job and all the things I was working on for the twin mom Chronicles collided a little bit because now I had more responsibilities let's be honest one of the biggest challenges for me was I don't know if I can do this I think everybody's asked thems that question at one point or another in life it was a double challenge in that sense almost proving to myself like of course you can do this this is what you trained for like you were made for this taking in some of those management and planning skills on being able to either say hey this is not going to get done or delegating which is another problem that I am overcoming asking for help and really saying you know I don't have to be a one woman show all the time you know I can take my Superwoman Cape off hang it up send it to the dry cleaner sometimes I'll never forget the first time because I'm very independent and it's difficult for me to ask for helps

Speaker 1: completely understand that I remember the first time they wheeled the twins into the room in the hospital my husband was on his way my mom was on her way and they were both in the little bassinet and they both open their eyes and looked at me and for the first time I thought I'm going to have to learn how to ask for help because I do not know how I'm going to pick them up and care for both of them at the same time so I kind of had that realization right at that moment I thought at this point I have no choice but good for you for saying it's okay to let go of some of the perfectionism because a lot of type A a lot of women listening yeah with the recent shift in technology today are there any technology platforms or apps that you use that you wouldn't be able to live without either for your personal life or

Speaker 2: for work for work I frequently use Epocrates just to look up drugs quickly in my personal life I've recently started using the Clubhouse app which is kind of new I really like it because it takes social media almost old school a little bit

Speaker 1: you're just listening talking you know kind of what we used to do when we just had a telephone and it didn't have our whole life on it and video and everything all all the distractions

Speaker 2: that's right so I like Clubhouse for that it's a great networking platform as well and then there's a lot of people and a lot of different expertise given some tips and hacks and things like that but one of the things that I started using at the beginning of the pandemic was the app called mindfulness it is a meditation app it'll walk you through different meditations for sleep and anxiety fear all that and now I've recently switched to pelaton I don't have a pelaton bike or tread although my friends are trying to get me to get one it's lifechanging I'll just say

Speaker 1: I am reluctant I have the bike and I just did my 50th ride it's addicting and it's great and if you have a treadmill you can even use your iPad if you don't want to buy both I'll tell you the first time that I ever did a spin cycle class I felt like I was GNA die get easier really really die so I said well let me get the app because I didn't realize that you could get the app without having a bike or the tread I've been doing that and that really has been lifechanging because I I just said you know what the gyms were sketchy before covid yeah in terms of cleaning processes I don't want to go back to the gym but I can't use that as an excuse to do nothing yes I'm really really loving the peleton app and all the variety yeah

Speaker 2: and I understand because I remember being in it with the twins when their little immune systems are trying to catch up and one gets a cold and the other one gets a cold by the end of the week and then by the third week you get the cold every time I mean that was the biggest thing that kept me from working out when they were little now they're older and it's easier but I love the meditation because women especially with young kids it's so important I mean that's another thing that you can do for yourself that just takes 10 or 15 minutes and you just feel so centered at the end so that's a really good suggestion since we're all dreaming of travel right now what is a favorite trip that you've been on or a favor place

Speaker 1: that you visited and why so far my favorite has been Hawaii so beautiful oh my goodness the pictures do not do it justice at all I felt so calm I ran outside every single day I was there it was just something about the air it was so beautiful and relaxing probably because the overall Vibe is it's okay okay just relax it'll be all right absolutely love that and I I wish that I could bottle that up and keep it forever or at least that the rest of the world would exhibit that and maybe in the next meditation close our eyes and dream of Hawaii yes tell ourselves everything's going to be all right definitely magic happens when we focus on the part of ourselves and our business that brings us joy what is one tip that you can leave us today about how you find and live your joy my days

Speaker 2: even on the roughest days are so much better because in the morning I wake up I'm not a coffee drinker but I have to drink Spark It's a sort of nutritional supplement kind of energy drink either light a candle or get my diffuser going and I read my devotional and then I write in my gratitude Journal that has changed the way that my whole day goes I'm able to focus on the things that give me joy and I love music I turn my music on and then everything else after that when the kids are going 500 different directions not listening screaming falling out I get stuck in traffic it makes it so much more bearable because I started my day out that way I would highly recommend moms women especially we carry a lot of stuff if we start our day out with whatever it is that gives us joy the whole rest of the day is like piece of cake I love

Speaker 1: that you light a candle it starts your day off centered to where like you said kind of whatever comes your way you can take it really well yeah I have to ask one last question what do you see for the future of twid mom Chronicles in a perfect world what does it look like to you in the future the community and what you're building in the future I really

Speaker 2: would love to see a twin mom Chronicles conference assuming that the world opens back up because again I think it's so important for us to connect but then a conference gives us ways to connect in a different way one it's that devoted time you get a little mini vacation break where you can focus on yourself you can network with other women and share some stories create some new relationships that you otherwise would not have that's what I Envision is just us being each other's Village the tribe that we all

Speaker 1: need okay hey I'm coming to your part of the country oh we're gonna have a meet up like that's what I see because I think that that's so important just for women in general but especially twin moms we got to stick together I love that cuz like I said when I met you I thought how many twin moms do I know and not that many if this was around when the my twins were younger and even now connecting with twin moms and moms and multiples I mean I love it I love it I think it's really great and you've built an incredible career and profession and I love it thank you thank you for being with us today can you tell our listeners where they can find you

Speaker 2: absolutely so you can find me by going to my website at twinmom Chronicles and it's all spelled out twinmom chronicles. comom or you can connect with me on Instagram and on Instagram I am twin mom doctor and doctor is spelled out so twin mom d o c t o r I would love to hear from anybody and you don't have to be a twin mom because I love all moms and I think we all can benefit from each other

Speaker 1: absolutely thank you so much for being with us today Dr Carpenter thank you for

Speaker 2: having

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